Good Grief

Hey DDC Readers,

This DDC blog is something different. Today I want to address grief and the spirits that come with it. I want to help someone that is not only dealing with the grief, due to the loss of a loved one, but due to life changes. Let me put on my therapist hat and educate on grief. Grief is not the result of a loss of a loved one alone, it comes with life changes good, bad, and ugly. I always give the example of how someone that lose something like their keys goes through the 5 stages of grief while looking for them. (*the stages of grief are not in a 1,2,3 format.  The five stages of grief are: 1) Denial, 2) Bargaining, 3) Anger, 4) Depression, and 5) Acceptance  You can jump through stages and repeat them often) When you first lose your keys you may be in denial. you may make statements like ” I know left the keys right here.” We may find ourselves bargaining, especially when someone else is in the house. “Look, whoever moved my keys, please just put them back.” After, that statement we may find ourselves angry and frustrated, especially after retracing our steps. We will say things like, “I know my keys were right here, who moved them?” Because the anger can truly be overwhelming we can get depressed, especially when we have exhausted all resolution and actions. Lastly, we will get to the acceptance stage. We will make a statement like “Oh well, I guess I lost my keys.” At that moment we find the keys and the grief moment is up. We don’t realize that we have experience grief due to the fact that we bounce back so easily from it   I hope that this blog helps everyone that reads it and it helps you move from grief to good grief and healing.

Post:

“As a counselor, my job is to help those in need and remind myself to be a rock so that the person on the other side of the conversation can be vulnerable and get what they need to get out… I pray daily GOD use me to be your vessel that you may get the glory out of the gift you have given me as a counselor. Well, this month has been one of the months where I really need GOD to manifest that prayer 10x. For some reason, the holidays seem like an open door for the enemy to come in like a flood. But can I tell those that have lost a loved one, remembering a loved one, grieving, grieving over a marriage gone wrong, feeling lost, depressed, numb, distraught, discouraged, confused, in pain, bewildered, frustrated, negative, and drain something… He will… HE will remove, restore, renew, heal, protect, provide, pour out, give victory, rescue, and save you in a breath of our Yes and an action of your surrendering! I don’t care what it looks like or how you feel.. My DADDY is THE on-time GOD he says he is. Not only that, he will overtake your desires, depression, and desperation with his glory, presence, love, peace, and joy. You will survive the holidays because your purpose is not over. Pick your head up, cry your tears, scream to the top of your lungs… but take of the ashes of mourning and put on the garment of praise… If you leave it on long enough you will start to fill the effects. #gottoresponddifferently #thisishispurpose.”

What do you do when your message from 5 years ago still holds weight even now? You share it! This message has more value now than then. I have seen my friends struggle through the holidays, my married friends say goodbye to their long marriages. I have tried to encourage my friends to keep moving as they grieve the loss of their loved ones or marriage. I am here to share this message with them. Because in this season you can’t allow the enemy to take away your joy even in their physical absence. As long as you live they live!! Don’t allow your want to grief hinder you from your need to heal. I am going to say that again Don’t allow YOUR WANT to grief hinder YOUR NEED to heal. Being paralyzed in the moment of their absence will only give the enemy more room in your life. Yes, life will be hard without them, but it doesn’t make it impossible. I always encourage those that have lost loved ones to do three things. 1) create a night of memories with family and friends. This night should not be a night where you reflect on the person’s absence but on their effects. What can you do make sure that their legacy lives? What I love about great leaders that have gone on before is that even in their death they still live. You can do the same with your loved ones. 2) Create a tradition that allows you to incorporate new family memories. Creating a new norm is not easy but it’s doable. 3) Don’t fake the funk! It’s ok to grieve, cry, get mad and/or angry, but you can’t stay there. You can’t make statements like: “I am not going to make it through the holidays.” “I just want to be by myself.” or “You don’t understand.” Why? Because you can make it, one step, moment, and second at a time. (it’s an everyday process), You can’t be by yourself, because that will cause you to be paralyzed in your grief. Last, everyone may not understand, but there is someone around you that does and wants to be there for you. So, this season I need you all to grieve yes, but let’s grieve in the direction of healthy grief and not unhealthy grief. Let’s do our loved ones the justice of living because they would not want it any other way.

When it comes to other life-changing events apply the same three steps but add one, let yourself heal. Don’t be a shame of your brokenness, remind yourself that you are in the process towards your wholeness.

Prayer: Daddy, I thank you for every reader that will read this blog. I thank you that you will heal them in the area of grief and brokenness. That you will manifest your peace, joy, love, and comfort in their lives as they continue to deal with the life changes that cause them to experience the process and emotions of grief. I pray that when they read this, they will become free and that everything that was holding them back from experiencing good grief is loose off of them and sent to a dry place. I thank you that as of today, they will experience the healing process of good grief. In JESUS Name. AMEN!!!